So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
