So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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