Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
