Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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