My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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