shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
