So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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