they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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