Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
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Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
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I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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