you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
