Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
