There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
No I am not eating basil off your cock
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
