Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
