it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
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He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
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Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
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