It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
