So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
