Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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