And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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