Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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