Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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