There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
