I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
