Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
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You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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