In the future we'll all be gay
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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