Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
