as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
