chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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