You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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