Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
