I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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