More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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