I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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