just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
