So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
