pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
