She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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