Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
