he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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