She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I just threw up on my dentist
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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