i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
