I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
