Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
