I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
A bitchslap is in order.
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