Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
