am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
