dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
