we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
do herpes really smell.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
