Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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