I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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