Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize