whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
