FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Terrible idea I love it
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
