I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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