Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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