If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
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