Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
