just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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