spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
