Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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