I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I bet he comes in French.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
