I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
